Odd Answers to Government Surveys

I kind of like the company I work for.  It’s perfect for a person doing what I need to do.  Boring, tedious, but they make it fun.  I do government surveys: health, political, or sometimes for a college or other non-profit.

So, while these survey’s are on telephones (and most people hang up on me), I’m not telemarketing.  I’m doing work for legit. causes.   Things that will possibly make this place better.  SO FILL IT OUT PEOPLE, THIS IS IMPORTANT!!! (You’d be surprised at how many people curse me out).

I love doing political surveys (we don’t call within our state, because we may bias the survey, so we have no stake in the issue).  They give me a good, overall, mindset of people.  Plus, of all the survey’s we do, those are the ones that allow us to have a say in their government.

And I get hung up more on by those, then anybody.  And then I hear complaints, “Well, if anyone ever asked me, I would tell them to do this….”  Well, we are calling, and you are hanging up on us.

Anyway, the high folks give the funniest answers.  Usually, they give the answer to the question you asked 4 questions ago, not to the question you are on now.  The drunks just talk.  Talk and talk.  And you have to guide them back to the survey, as much as you want to hear all about how much the question reminds them of some story as to why they think that way.

But hey, they are answering the questions, (and thus, influencing politics) and I am really patient.

Then…. the weirdos….

I divide this into three kinds.

1- The perverted:

Somehow they confuse a government survey with a sex line or dating service.

2- The “Oh my god I can’t believe s/he just said that” guy/girl:

These people have answers that are so out there, (for those of you that get this reference: Think “Deliverance”), they are either messing with you, or you really wonder if Deliverance still exists.

3- HUH?

More on these in a minute.

So, the perverted.  That needs no examples.  You can imagine them on your own.

So, the guy I chose to represent the (2) “Did s/he just say that????” category comes to us from a state I won’t reveal, on a subject and reason I will not share with you.

On a topic about education, I person told told me s/he thought one of the problems wrong with schools was, “the fact we don’t beat the kids enough.” Because, sure, nothing fixes a problem by just beating everybody into making it better.  😕

Amazingly, I’m able to keep a calm tone.  I record their answers as they say them.  Because, s/he’s the only one that hasn’t hung up on me in two hours, and s/he’s taking the survey.  It’s his/her right, and your’s.  And… yet YOU have probably just yelled at me and hung up.

Anyway, I record their answers, as they give them, whether I think they are wrong or just stupid, I put it down w/o influence.  Because I think it is their opinion, and they have a right to express it without judgement when asked.  Technically, just because I may not agree, doesn’t make it less valid.  Facts and opinions are two different ballgames.

Then there is (3).  The “Mother Ship has landed people”.  The one’s I promised you.

I’m going to give you two examples in this.  Because this one person gets the cake for a refusal to take the survey.    I think s/he was messing with me, or possibly “on” something, (sigh) at least I’d hope it’s one of those two.

When asked if s/he would like to participate, the answer was, “No, I’m not home right now.  I’m a figment of your imagination.” and hung up.

Now, I’m really patient.  Those are normal.  People find interesting ways not to participate.  And even the perverts and the foot-in-mouth diseased Americans, with patience, and anonymity, you learn to bounce it off you and get through the survey.  Even if it takes a little longer.  Because… they…. are….. taking…. it…..

Did I mention that these survey’s are important, and yet you are hanging up on us?? And THESE people are answering!!!

So, okay.  This example is from a health survey.  I think I can say that without trouble.  And just to stop having to type “his/her” and “s/he”, we are going to assume this is a male.  That does not mean he was, and it doesn’t mean he wasn’t.

That was the first time my indifference waivered.  This guy was one of those people you knew were completely serious, and the more you spoke to him, the more you realized that even Mother Ship rejected him.  The more I tried to keep him on the survey, the more “creative liberty” he took in his interpretation and ideas.  He never crossed the line, and it wasn’t my patience faltering.   I just couldn’t do anything with him.  I tried.  But, I had to let him go.  When asked an insurance question he told me (paraphrasing) his insurance is of the godly kind, where none is needed.  “Because God is my insurance,”  Yeah, okay, time for you go to go now.  I politely stepped out, as his answers were so obscure at this point I couldn’t.  But, later on, when I got home, I thought… well…. he has a point.

NO NO NO… STAY with me here.

There is a Buddist saying that says “There is a fine line between pure enlightenment and mental retardation.”  (C/P one of the 200 names from Google search here)  So, the statement, “God is my insurance.”  Genius or insane? I think it is a valid point, comes from a very obscure reasoning, but, the point is valid.

Okay, throw god out of your head for this.  WHATEVER “this” is, (God, Jesus, nature, energy, Allah, Buddha, health, unity, science, laws, circle of life, whatever you Scientology people do (some alien guy, right?) and whatever other form/name/power/label you want to put here that I didn’t mention) it is a form of insurance.

Okay, too genius to answer on a basic level, and too….. whatever he was dealing with that made him, “off”…… to realize at some point “god” and “money” don’t collide when it comes to the science you have available to save your life.

But maybe ignorance IS bliss.  Maybe not knowing any better, and the knowledge of nothing but peace from the idea of, essentially, something makes us alive, and something makes us dead.  Money can reverse the suffering, for a time.

Of course, it will lead to unnecessary problems of diseases, and needless, needless suffering that doesn’t NEED to happen.  (We used to rely on only God.  That was when the Black Plague was around).  And, money force doctors to put the bottom line over human life.  Because the oath is noble.  The mortgage, kids, student loans, and kid’s college fund doesn’t give a s*** about your oath, and, in this economy, you HAVE a job.

I wanted to reply to him, “But God gave you the way to pay, to offer people the gifts of healing.”

But I had to be indifferent on the survey.  I had to let him go.  He was suffering needlessly, and maybe one day will read this before it’s too late.

Odd answers to a survey.  And these are the people who take it.  There are more wierdo’s then actual answers.  SO STOP CURSING ME OUT AND TAKE THE STUPID SURVEY!!

2 thoughts on “Odd Answers to Government Surveys

  1. Fascinating stuff, Normal, but I wonder if you’re on the endangered jobs list? The last few surveys I’ve had call were automated. As far as I’m concerned if they don’t have the courtesy to put a human on the phone to ask me the questions, I don’t want to be a part of it. I just hang up on those.

    But you’ve obviously had much entertainment from your work and you’ve found a way to entertain us here as well. Thank you.

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    1. Just part time work while I’m back in school. Schedule fits me, I can make enough money to keep my gas tank filled and lights on while I take classes to do bigger and better things. And, it’s always good for a second job just in case. With the economy here in America, we don’t make enough to live on, anywhere. Many people have a full and part time job. This one is good because you can stress over your full time and work hard, and just come in there and snooze, mostly press buttons. You’d be surprised at how many people hang up on you. And yeah, the gov doesn’t do the robo calling for the exact reason you said.

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